My conversation with a Dutch guy (Max) about trust in relationships revealed some divergent views and experiences. We didn't really have different views on trust, but had some divergent views on how certain acts and thoughts can be damaging to trust between friends. For instance, according to Max (and likewise others around him), it is fine to tell his male friend that his friend's girlfriend has a nice ass, and that his friend would perceive this ok, even as a positive thing because he is dating a girl whom others find hot. We, Turks, all know that this isn't really an acceptable or safe behaviour; Turks wouldn't want to express such thoughts about their friends' girlfriends or boyfriends directly to their friends. Trust among friends can be damaged. Jealousy may be inevitable. The friend could start watching out how their girlfriend and their friend are interacting. They would try not to create situations that their gf and their friend would be alone or even try to block potential encounters between them. This is because thoughts can mean more, they can imply certain future acts as well. Being friends does not imply there is unequivocal trust. Anything can happen. This may be gendered as well - more so in males than females, although both males and females are careful with not making such sexually-charged comments about their friends's partners. In Turkey the trust is not the default expectation between friends. Friends may go over the boundaries of trust, and so any sexual comment that may provoke attraction shouldn't be expressed.
According to M., it is simply: We are friends, so Y would know that I'd never act on my thoughts. Y and his gf are in a relationship, and if they have trust between them, his gf wouldn't act on her thoughts either.
Speaking of universal human rights and taking on a universal morality perspective, the Dutch in general are morally evolved creatures, at least more so compared to the Middle Easterners, ok at least more so compared to me.
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